


hold on as we crash into the earth

by 5_es_oh_es (YouMakeMyHeartCry)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton humps things a lot, I suck I know but it might be little funny maybe idk, M/M, ashton is confused but again whats new?, but not really he's just a lil shit, calum is helpful, its actually ridiculous but bear with, like a wise old owl, luke is a prude but what's new?, michael is sick of the gayness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2210883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouMakeMyHeartCry/pseuds/5_es_oh_es
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humping anything and everything that he could get his legs around was something that Ashton Irwin had been doing since he was seven years old. Luke knew this. Luke had frequently compared him to an overexcited puppy (albeit not always because of the humping; sometimes Ashton was just really, <em>really</em> cute and funny and, well, puppy-like). Really, Luke should have expected this. </p>
<p>Or, Ashton humps things a lot and Luke is a prude and Calum gives some good advice and Michael wonders when his life turned into some crappy gay porn movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold on as we crash into the earth

**Author's Note:**

> So I just reached 300 Kudos in total for my other two works I've posted and so to celebrate I'm posting this which I finished a few days ago.
> 
> The feedback I've had on my other works is incredible and I'm so grateful to everyone that reads my work, and even more so to those that take the time to leave kudos or a comment, you're the reason I keep writing!
> 
> I hope people enjoy this one as much as the other two! Thank you! 
> 
> Title is from After Midnight by Blink 182 (there is a pattern developing)

Humping anything and everything that he could get his legs around was something that Ashton Irwin had been doing since he was seven years old. Luke knew this. Luke had frequently compared him to an overexcited puppy (albeit not always because of the humping; sometimes Ashton was just really, _really_ cute and funny and, well, puppy-like). Really, Luke should have expected this. 

Luke and Calum had become aware of the habit for the first time only a week after Ashton first practiced with them. Michael already knew him pretty well, having spent much time with the older guy when he first showed interest in joining the band (as desperate as they were, Mikey was still incredibly fussy, insisting that the drummer they chose had to be someone that would be their friend so that the chemistry was good, or some crap), but the others didn't really know him at all. Despite how shy he'd been, Ashton didn't have a problem being himself and it was their third rehearsal since they'd recruited the drummer that Ashton and Mikey had been faux-wrestling which eventually led to Ashton humping the arm of the chair they kept in Luke's basement/their band space. 

At first, Luke had thought it incredibly strange and looked at Michael questioningly, wondering if the idiot had found their new drummer in a mental asylum (he wouldn't be all that surprised, really), but Mikey had just shrugged and laughed. Calum had raised an eyebrow but soon after shrugged and made a joke about Ashton being neutered. It was weak but they all laughed and Luke joined in and after a while nobody thought it was weird anymore, it was just something Ashton _did_ and as long as he didn't do it in public nobody cared. 

Three years after Ashton joined the band, he still humped everything and by now Luke would simply roll his eyes, whereas the other two usually joined in because really, they were idiots. They'd even tell Luke to stop being a girl when he refused to do it too, but he'd simply tell them to fuck off, that he's _seventeen_ , and they would usually leave him alone. 

The first time Ashton started humping Luke he should have been expecting it, really. He'd started humping Michael, who was asleep on the floor (the dork hadn't even woken up), and Luke had lost his temper, because he was blocking his view of the TV, and called him a child. 

Ashton had briefly looked hurt, which Luke felt bad about instantly, but then he'd gotten this evil look in his eye and before Luke could even register the smirk on his face he was throwing himself at the younger boy and getting fruity with his right leg.

Luke would have made a joke about his legs being irresistible were he not too busy squealing and wriggling about in a vain attempt to shake him off. 

All his shouting woke Michael, who took one look at the pair on the sofa, muttered something about 'ruining his innocence', and lumbered to his feet and out of the room. 

"Mikey, please, get him off of me!" Luke begged, but he received no help. Michael did reappear a moment later, with Calum in tow, but it was only so that they could laugh hysterically at Luke's discomfort. 

Ashton stopped after a minute or so and Luke wasted no time in shoving him onto the floor. 

"What's the matter Lukey?" Ashton asked, looking innocent, as if nothing had happened. Luke narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're an asshole." He hissed, standing up and brushing himself off, which only served to make Michael and Calum laugh even harder. Ashton, however, frowned in concern when he realised that Luke wasn't at all amused. In fact, though Luke would never admit it, Ashton swore he could see tears of embarrassment in his eyes. He felt bad then; he had meant it to be a joke, not realising Luke would get so upset.  
"Hey, Luke, don't be embarrassed." He said softly, getting to his feet to look the blonde in the eye. Luke moved away from him.

"You _know_ I don't fucking like that shit. Can't you just grow up a little, Ash?" Luke spat, practically radiating fury. Ashton recoiled. He'd never seen Luke, or any of his band mates for that matter, look so angry. The other two obviously noticed because they immediately stopped laughing.

"Whoa, chill out, mate. S'just a joke. We're all friends here." Calum approached the pair of them. 

"It's not fucking funny, though. It's stupid and pathetic and _weird_." 

"Luke, come on, you're all worked up, you should-" 

"No, Mikey, let him go on. I want to hear what he's got to say. Go on then Luke. Let's hear it. If you think I'm so 'stupid and pathetic and weird', why have you put up with me for three years?" Ashton was shouting but they could all tell he was truly offended, and Luke deflated, the anger flowing out of him, replaced by guilt.

"Ash, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, you know I love you, it's just-"

"Save it, Luke. It's no problem, it won't happen again." 

And with that Ashton stormed out of the room. The others watched him leave, and then Calum and Michael turned back to Luke, Calum with a disappointed expression and Michael looking angry.

"You're a Class A fucktard, Luke." Michael said, voice hard. Luke gulped, refusing to meet either of their gazes.

"Michael, there's no need for that. Seriously though, Luke, you went too far. I can understand you were uncomfortable, though I have no idea why since it was _Ashton_ for fucks sake, but that was harsh, what you said." 

Luke completely agreed, so he said nothing, just nodded.

"I think you should go apologise." Mikey suggested, calmer now, but there was still a slight edge to his voice that told Luke that if he argued he was in shit.

"He doesn't want to speak to me. You saw his face." 

"You're his best friend. He knows you didn't mean it, Luke. He just needs an apology, but if you don't apologise he might start to think you did." Calum was exactly right, as usual. Luke often found himself in awe of how Calum somehow knew all three of them better than they knew themselves, yet still thought it was okay to tell a girl "you have a bit of cellulite but it's okay, you're still really hot" after sex. (He'd pouted for weeks about how her answering slap was "totally uncalled for, it was a _compliment_ "). 

Luke hadn't bothered knocking on Ashton's door, knowing he wasn't likely to invite him in, and found the drummer lying face down on the bed. He didn't move until Luke had flopped down beside him, when he turned his head to tell him to fuck off before turning it the other way. Luke sighed. So it was going to take more than a quick sorry and a cuddle to make this right, then. 

"Ash, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. All you did was express your opinion." Ashton deadpanned. Luke rolled his eyes and wriggled closer to his friend.

"I was a jackass, Ash. And we both know that's not my opinion. You hump things a lot and that's fine, you know, it's _funny_. I was just angry and tired and I lost my temper because it makes me uncomfortable. And before you say anything, that's not because it's _you_. I'm just...I'm a prude, I guess, and it you took me by surprise and Mikey and Cal were laughing and I was mostly just embarrassed. I shouldn't have snapped, though, and what I said was out of order and not even true." 

At some point during Luke's monologue Ashton had turned over so they were facing each other and he was watching as Luke spoke, and unreadable expression on his face. Luke gulped audibly when Ashton didn't respond for a while, but then suddenly he exhaled loudly and nuzzled his head into Luke's neck, wriggling closer. Luke relaxed and wrapped his arms around his best friend.

"It's okay, Lukey. I'm sorry I did it. I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable; I'll try to stop in future." He murmured into Luke's neck. Luke shook his head in reply, squeezing his waist.

"Don't, Ash. Seriously, I don't mind. I was just taken by surprise, is all. Don't stop humping things on my account." Luke chuckled slightly at his words because really, you don't hear that every day. He still meant them, though, and Ashton knew. 

"Thanks, Luke. I won't hump you ever again though, that's a promise." 

"Don't worry about it. I understand that sometimes I'm hard to resist." He winked and Ashton chuckled and rolled his eyes, "I'm not encouraging you, of course, but you know, if you ever feel the need, like, I mean...it's okay. I won't react like that again. Promise."

Ashton pulled away and looked at Luke, eyebrow raised.

"Did you just give me permission to hump you, Luke?" He asked. Luke blushed.

"No! I would still very much prefer that you don't get fruity with my leg, or any other part of my anatomy. I'm just saying, you know, I promise I wouldn't react like that again. I'd still push you off me, but you know, I'd laugh it off. Whatever." Luke shrugged, knowing he sounded like an idiot. He just wanted Ash to know he was okay, though, that he truly hadn't meant what he'd said, and he didn't want Ashton to feel like he couldn't piss about while Luke was around. Ashton laughed at him but he understood, smiling fondly as he ruffled Luke's hair.   
...

Things went back to normal after that, and Luke was relieved to see that Ashton was just as friendly with inanimate objects (and Calum and Michael) as he had always been. They all left him alone, though, for which Luke was grateful. He even started finding it funny, especially when the drummer would do it to Michael mid-video game session. Really, it was only a bit of a laugh, and after a little while he struggled to understand why it had bugged him so much. He still didn't feel the need to join in, though.

The second time it happened, Ashton had started on Mikey, whom Luke had been sat beside on the sofa. Mikey was watching something, though, so he just groaned and shoved Ashton over onto Luke. Ashton landed awkwardly, limbs strewn all over the place, and Luke received an elbow to the ribs once or twice as he wriggled to right himself so that he was straddling the younger boys lap. They looked at each other for a second, Ashton raising an eyebrow, almost a challenge. Luke immediately cottoned on and opened his mouth to protest, but he was too late. 

Ashton wriggled one leg between Luke's and started humping him, and after fighting for a moment or two Luke just groaned and gave up, leaning back and watching Ashton. The older boy had his face screwed up as he laughed loudly. Luke looked over at Michael, who was watched them both, surprise on his face.

"This is a change from last time. You feeling okay Lukey?" 

"Oh, I'm peachy, really. He's like the dog I never had." Luke's reply had Michael in stitches, and Ashton paused to pout at the blonde.

"I'm not a dog. I just enjoy a good hump." He complained. Luke just laughed and shook him off, then opened his arms. 

"Come cuddle." He demanded. 

"Why should I? You called me a dog!" 

"Because I let you hump me." 

"But you called me a dog. I owe you nothing." Ashton narrowed his eyes. Luke stuck out his bottom lip and tried to look sad.

"Please, Ashy? M'cold?" He whined. 

Ashton rolled his eyes but threw himself on top of Luke anyway. He wasn't one to turn down a cuddle.

...

The third time it happened didn't end nearly so well. 

It was a Sunday morning, they'd been out late the night before, and Luke did not plan to get up before midday, at least. He was in the middle of a _very_ pleasant dream involving a hot lifeguard and lots of sweating when he was abruptly awoken as something heavy and lumpy landed on top of him.

He awoke with a gasp, frightened for his life, but when he opened his eyes he was met with bright round brown ones, which he then noticed were attached to a dimply smile and he lay his head back on the pillow, trying to settle down his heart which had sped up with e shock of his awakening. 

"Ashton, what the fuck are you doing?" He groaned once he'd caught his breath. Ashton chuckled and wriggled a little. Luke froze.

"Waking you up. It's, like, already eight and you were still asleep!" He pouted as if that _wasn't_ completely normal for a teenage boy. Luke didn't reply, however, as he was still frozen.

Ashton's wriggling had brought his attention to the fact that he had, in fact, been woken mid-sex-dream and he did, in fact, have a boner. And his bandmate was lying _on_ _top_ _of_ _him_. He blushed, eyes widening. He was relieved, however, when Ashton frowned in confusion. He obviously hadn't noticed. Luke praised the hotel owner for not being a cheapskate and investing in thick bed sheets. 

"Are you alright Luke?" Ashton asked, mistaking his discomfort for sadness. Luke nodded.

"Yup. Fine. Get off me." He grunted out, trying to subtly manoeuvre himself so that Ashton rolled off him without revealing himself. Ashton, however, was having none of it. He smirked and shook his head.

"Nu-uh. I came in here for a morning cuddle and I'm not leaving until I get one." He insisted. Usually Luke wouldn't mind, in fact he'd welcome his best friend with open arms, but for obvious reasons that wasn't going to happen that morning. 

He tried, of course he did, but he was young and horny and even thinking of dead puppies didn't work to calm him down when he had the weight of another body-regardless of gender-on top of him. He shook his head and Ashton looked put out.

"Fine then. I guess I don't have a choice." Ashton huffed. Luke sighed in relief.

"No, you don't. Now get _off_ me." 

Ashton grinned maliciously, and Luke realised too late that he was about to do it _again_. This time, he didn't even try for the one leg thing. He just sat up and shuffled a little so he was straddling Luke, (Ashton briefly thought he looked like a chubby caterpillar, wrapped up in the sheets like he was), and bouncing up and down, _fast_. 

Luke screwed his eyes shut and groaned, grateful that Ashton wouldn't be able to tell the difference between his angry groan and his aroused groan. 

"A-Ashton! Stop, please!" He gasped out, fighting the urge to buck his hips. Ash was, luckily, positioned so that his crotch was over the top of Luke's thighs, so he wouldn't be able to feel Luke's erection, but if he didn't stop soon Luke was going to give himself away and, well. He'd never be able to look Ashton in the eye again if he knew he'd seen him _orgasm_. 

"What's the magic word, Lukey?" Ashton cackled. Luke would have given him the finger but he was too busy fisting the sheets in an effort to restrain himself.

"I just said it! Please!"

"Nope. Sorry. Try again."

"Ash! Fucking knock it off!" 

"No."

"Seriously, Ash," Luke pleaded, eyes wide with panic because he was actually going to _come_ if Ashton carried on much longer, "I-you-I really need to piss!" He blurted. Ashton laughed.

"Is that the best you can do? I'm not stupid, Luke." He didn't even falter. Luke groaned again and this time he was sure Ashton would realise what was going on, but the drummer was still oblivious.

"Seriously, Ashton, I _will_ piss on you. Don't think I won't." He growled. Ashton rolled his eyes but stopped moving nonetheless. Luke wasted no time in shoving him off the bed. Ash hit the floor with a loud thump and a louder curse, but by the time he managed to lift his head up to look at Luke, the bathroom door was slamming shut.

Grumbling to himself, Ashton made his was out of Luke's room. 

Luke jerked himself off in the shower and _definitely_ didn't think of Ashton while he did it. Definitely.

...

The next time was different. Very different.

Luke had been lazing on the couch for the past few hours because the others had gone to that club that they love that Luke can't get into because the security is actually really good and Luke looks nothing like the photo on his fake I.D. They didn't go often for that reason, but Luke had insisted they go tonight, he hated ruining their fun. Plus, he'd be eighteen in a few weeks, and then they wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. 

Michael got back first. He was dragging some curvy blonde along behind him and. Luke rolled his eyes because he knew Michael and he could tell from the way he struggled to string two words together that he wouldn't be able to get it up. Sure enough, not even five minutes later the blonde was storming out of his room and slamming the door behind her. Luke chuckled, getting to his feet to check on Mikey, laughing even more when he walked in and heard gentle snores. He tugged off the older boy's shoes and jeans and pulled the covers over him. 

Calum was next, a couple hours or so later, and he also wasn't alone. He nodded at Luke in greeting, nowhere near as wasted as Michael, and led his companion to his room. Luke looked but couldn't tell if if it was a boy or a girl. He shrugged to himself; Calum probably didn't either, and it wasn't like he would care. 

Luke turned up the TV just in case they were loud, and waited for Ashton to come back. He looked nervously towards the door every few minutes, wishing Ashton would walk through it. He eventually realised he was being stupid, and forced his eye to remain glued to the TV screen, though he wasn't watching the movie at all.

When the door finally opened, it slammed into the wall with force. Luke, who had been half-asleep, shot up and stared at the doorway, wide-eyed. He relaxed and sat back down when he saw Ashton drunkenly fumbling with the key, trying to lock the door. 

"You alright, Ash?" He called out. Ashton turned to him, beaming, and nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm great Lukey. Tonight was so fun! You should have come. Why didn't you come?" He looked confused as he threw himself down beside Luke on the couch. The blonde rolled his eyes but let the drummer snuggle closer to him anyway. 

"I'm seventeen, Ash. Won't let me in." 

"That's stupid," the older boy pouted, "you should complain." 

"Complain to who?"

"I don't know."

"Ashton, you're not making any sense."

"I'm drunk. I'm not _supposed_ to make sense." He mumbled, face buried Luke's shirt. 

Luke went back to watching his movie, much more relaxed now that all his friends were home safe and Ashton was cuddling him. He assumed that the other boy was asleep.

The movie was just getting interesting when Ashton decided to be a little shit. He pulled away from Luke and started shifting around. Luke ignored him, engrossed in the film, until he was suddenly throwing a leg over his thighs and straddling his lap, efficiently blocking his view of the television. Luke whined.

"Ashton! Move, fucktard, I'm watching this!" He complained, glaring at the boy on his lap. Ashton just pouted.

"You're ignoring me, Lukey."

"I'm not, Ash, I'm just watching a film. It's good. You should watch it."

"But I've missed the start."

"Well I haven't."

"So?" 

"So let me watch the end!" 

"No! Why should I? You're the one who watched it _without_ me!"

"Ashton, you were at a club! Without _me_!"

"That's your fault, though."

"How is that my fault?"

"You should have been born sooner."

"Oh fuck off, Ash." Luke tried to push the other boy off his lap but his efforts were half hearted at best. He could hear music playing and when he glanced around Ashton he saw the closing credits rolling. "Look, you've made me miss the end!"

"Whatever. We'll watch it tomorrow."

"I hate you, Ashton Fletcher Irwin." He glowered. Ashton laughed and started wriggling. Luke frowned in confusion until he was being pushed backwards into the couch and Ashton had moved forwards so that their crotches were aligned. Luke's eyes widened.

"What are you d-doing?" He stuttered a little, because this was new. Sure, they'd been in semi-suggestive positions before but it had always been accidental, and the look on Ashton's face told him that this was anything but.

"I'm getting comfortable." 

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in bed?" Luke tried, just about keeping his voice steady. Ashton giggled drunkenly.

"Nope. I can't do this in my bed." He slurred, and even though Luke knew it was coming he wasn't prepared for the way Ashton started moving on top of him. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to take long, deep breaths, but it was no use. He was young and horny and he hadn't jerked off for a while and he couldn't stop thinking about how attractive his bandmate was and it wasn't long before he was biting back a moan and he was visibly hard.

Luke could tell the exact moment that Ashton noticed, because he stilled immediately and looked down to meet Luke's wide-eyed gaze. Unlike last time, with the thick hotel bed sheets, the thin denim of their jeans wasn't nearly enough to hide Luke's dilemma. 

"Um...fuck." Ashton murmured. Luke winced.

"Shit, Ash, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...it's not you, I swear, I just-"

"I'm far too drunk for this." Ashton cut him off, and Luke was momentarily taken aback by his voice because he didn't sound angry or embarrassed or even mocking. He sounded resigned. 

"What do you-" Ashton cut him off again, but this time not with words. Instead, he slowly ground into Luke's in a way that had Luke's mouth open in a moan before either of them knew what was happening. Luke's hands flew up to grasp Ashton's hips and he flushed scarlet when he realised what had just happened and he looked at Ashton's face.

"Ashton, what are you doing?" His voice was raspy and shaky and Ashton just gave him this _look_ that shot straight to Luke's dick. Speaking of dicks, Luke suddenly realised with a gasp that he wasn't the only one that was hard.

"Luke, y-you should probably make me get off of you now." Ashton told him shakily. Luke nodded, still wide-eyed, but made no move. 

They stayed like that, motionless, just staring at each other for a few seconds. Then Ashton sighed, tension leaving his body.

"Fuck it." 

And then he was doing it again, rolling his hips against Luke's, and as wrong as he knew it was Luke couldn't help but feel more turned on than he ever had before. He moaned again, less embarrassed this time because Ashton shortly did the same.

They didn't last long, Ashton rutting down onto Luke, hard and fast, while Luke bucked his hips up to meet him. Not long later, Luke watched as Ashton's mouth dropped open and he let out a groan, throwing his head backwards. It was that sight, the sight of his best friend's face as he came, that sent Luke over the edge. 

Luke's hands were still clutching Ashton's shirt tightly enough that one of the holes in the side had torn and was now much larger. Neither of them cared. Ashton watched Luke's face as he reached his high, thrusting his hips upwards weakly one last time. Luke kept his eyes closed for a little while, as they both caught their breath. Ashton was first to break the silence.

"Well shit."

"Ash." Luke murmured breathily in response, not in a _shutupdonttalkaboutit_ way, more of a _Icantbelievethatreallyhappened_ way. Ashton laughed lowly.

"Luke." He replied. Slowly, the younger boy opened his eyes. Their gazes met and they both smiled, albeit a little awkwardly.

"What, um...what was that?" Luke asked. 

"I'm pretty sure you just made me come in my pants for the first time since, like, year nine or something." Ashton sounded awed. Luke blushed.

"Sorry about that." He mumbled. 

"Hey, don't apologise. I'm not embarrassed. It was actually really hot." Ashton shrugged. Luke giggled, then blushed even more.

"I can't believe...shit, Ash I've never done anything like that before." He confessed. Ashton laughed again.

"I know," he smiled, but then his expression changed to one of guilt, "Shit. I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't think. Man, I'm a dick." 

"S'alright. It was fun." Luke shrugged and Ashton relaxed again, glad that hadn't upset Luke. "I'm confused, though. Best friends don't usually, you know, do _that_ , right?"

"No. No they don't." Ashton agreed. 

"They why...?" 

Ashton thought for a moment, and then shrugged.

"I'm drunk. What's your excuse?" 

He'd meant it as a joke, but it came out mostly serious. Luke's expression hardened instantly and he suddenly let go of Ashton's shirt and shoved the older boy sideways, before jumping to his feet.

"Whatever. Fuck you, I'm going to bed."

"Wait, Luke, I-"

"Leave it, Ash. I get it. This only happened because you're drunk. I understand. I just...fuck, I'm mad at myself. I shouldn't have let it happen."

"Lukey, don't-"

"Just stop, Ash. With any luck you won't remember this tomorrow." Luke sighed and without letting Ashton say another word he stormed out of the room. Ashton lay backwards, sighing loudly. He regretted what he'd said, and it wasn't even true. He hadn't had nearly enough to drink to justify what happened. And he was _definitely_ going to remember everything in the morning. 

...

Luke avoided Ashton like the plague for the next couple of weeks. He wasn't even subtle about it-even Mikey noticed.

"Ashton, what the fuck did you do to Luke?" He finally asked, after he'd watched Luke walk into the seating area on the bus, look around, realise the only available seat was next to Ashton, and walk out again, despite his favourite show being on TV. Calum, who was next to Mikey, looked concerned. Ashton shrugged, but his reddening face gave him away. "Don't play dumb, you shit. There's obviously something wrong." 

"I just...It's nothing, really. You don't need to worry about it. We'll sort it out." 

"Ashton, come on. That's not how it works. We're not just a band, we're best mates. We're like brothers," Calum and Michael didn't miss the way Ashton's cheeks reddened further at the word brothers, "we tell each other everything, no matter what." 

"I just...God, it's so embarrassing." 

"Come on, how bad can it be?" 

"It's really not that big of a deal, guys."

"Can't be that embarrassing then."

"It is. It's humiliating. But it's not a big deal."

"You've got three seconds to tell us everything or I _will_ piss in your bunk! Ashton." Michael warned, glaring at him, making it obvious that he wasn't joking. Ashton sighed, giving in. 

"Fine! I, um...I did something stupid and told Luke it was because I was drunk. But Luke wasn't drunk and so he got upset and now I feel terrible because he won't talk to me and the shittiest thing is that I was lying because I wasn't that drunk and I'm pretty sure I would have done it even if I was sober but he won't listen to me and I don't know what to do." He hadn't meant to let it all spill out like that, but it did. 

He stopped talking and stared at the ground. The others were silent, and when he finally looked up Mikey looked incredibly confused. Calum looked slightly less confused, like he kind of understood what Ashton was saying but not completely.

"Ash, I have no idea what you're talking about." Michael told him honestly. 

"I'm assuming that the 'something stupid' you did was sexual?" Calum asked, ignoring the way Michael's eyes widened and he started spluttering.

"Wait, what? Sexual?"

"Yeah." Ashton looked down, ignoring Michael.

"Someone better tell me what's going on right now or I'm going to flip out." Michael warned. Ashton sighed. He might as well just tell them the whole story. 

"That night we went to the club without Luke, about two weeks ago, I got back and I was drunk but I think Luke thought I was worse than I actually was. Anyway, we cuddled for a bit but then I kind of got on his lap and I was being a shit and then I started humping him. Like I do all the time. Only, then he was fucking _hard_. I didn't know what to do and I...shit, I can't believe I'm telling you this." He'd never been so embarrassed in his life. Calum looked understanding, though, and told him to go on, and Michael rubbed his shoulder comfortingly and he couldn't help but feel incredibly grateful because he had the absolute best friends in the entire world. 

"So, yeah, Luke was hard and I stopped because I didn't know what to do and he looked so scared but...he was all flushed and out of breath and I've never thought about a _guy_ that way, I've always thought I liked girls, but it really turned me on and the next thing I knew we were grinding and...I told him he should make me stop but he _didn't_ and then we were at it like rabbits. I, um...God, nobody even _touched_ anything but we both came and it was really confusing but we were okay and then I went and fucked up and now he hates me." 

Calum and Michael were both shocked, to say the least. 

"Well, that was...unexpected." Michael said helpfully.

"Yeah, definitely," Calum agreed, though he sounded a little more sympathetic, "I mean, I knew Luke was into guys but I thought you were the straight one, Ash."

"So did I." Ashton agreed, before he properly took in what Calum had said and his eyes widened, "Wait, what?"

"What what?"

"What did you say?"

"When?"

"About Luke!"

"That I knew he was into guys?"

"Luke's into _guys_?" 

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Calum and Michael both looked surprised.

"I, um...I guess he never told me." Ashton couldn't help feeling hurt.

"Well, he's never told us, either. But, I mean, it's kind of obvious. Have you ever once seen him look twice at a girl?" 

"No, but-"

"And he's a virgin. He's seventeen, Ash. You never thought that was unusual? And remember how he used to turn into a stuttering, red-faced mess every time Niall walked into the room?" Michael rolled his eyes at the memory, but not in a mocking way, more of a fond way. Ashton felt like face palming. Of course. It was so obvious. How could he not have realised?

"Okay, so...fuck. I fucked up so bad. What if he thinks I was, like, taking the piss out if him or something?" 

"Ash, don't be a twat. You know he won't think that. He knows you better than that."

"I don't know what to do, Cal." Ashton was near tears. The two others got up and enveloped him in a bear hug, one of them rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"It's alright Ash, you'll work it out."

"I don't know where this leaves us. I don't know if we can still be friends, but I also don't know if I want to be more. I've never thought of myself as anything but straight." 

"Ash, this is really simple. It doesn't matter if you're straight or gay or whatever. You can figure that out later. Right now, all you need to do is ask yourself; do you want Luke to be your friend?" Michael looked him in the eye, already knowing Ash's answer, but the drummer nodded anyway.

"Of course."

"Alright then. Now ask yourself this; do you want to do, you know, _that_ stuff with him again?" Calum spoke this time. Ashton thought about it for longer this time, but he already knew the answer. He looked down, face flushing, as he nodded. 

"Yeah, I think...yeah, I definitely do."

"Right. Well, now you need to let Luke know that. Once he knows that, he'll be able to sort out his own feelings." 

"Okay. Okay then, thanks. You guys are the best." Ashton smiled, pulling out of the hug. They both agreed with him wholeheartedly before shoving him towards the door.

"Go make nice with Lukey, you fuck." Michael told him fondly in way of a goodbye.

...

It was just Ashton's luck, really, that when he finally plucked up the courage to go talk to Luke the next day, the younger boy was jerking off. Like, really, it was like somebody was deliberately fucking with Ashton, seriously.

"Shit! Sorry!" He gasped, hastily backing out of Luke's room. He heard Luke curse loudly and then something hit the ground with a thump and he could hear shuffling noises. Ashton stood outside the closed door for a moment, debating whether or not to leave, but after a minute or so it flew open again, revealing a bedraggled, red-faced Luke. He was shirtless but he'd pulled on a pair of sweatpants which hung dangerously low on his hips and Ashton had to try very hard not to replay the scene he'd just walked in on over in his mind.

"Haven't you heard of _knocking_?" The blonde scowled. Ashton bit his lip, shrugging. 

"Sorry. I, um...my bad." Ashton grimaced. Luke narrowed his eyes, leaning against the door frame and looking at Ashton expectantly.

"I'm assuming you wanted something?" Ashton was surprised by his tone; Luke rarely held grudges, he'd assumed that he was avoiding him because he was embarrassed but now he was getting the feeling that he was angry with him.

"Er, yeah, I...I wanted to talk to you actually. About, you know, what happened the other night?" Ashton stumbled over his words, cursing himself inwardly. He felt like some stupid teenage girl and he knew he looked like an idiot and Luke obviously thought so too, raising an eyebrow mockingly.

"Oh, so you remember that?" As much as he tried, Luke couldn't hide the way his cheeks reddened a little more. Ashton nodded. 

"Of course I do. I wasn't that drunk, Luke." He admitted, slightly ashamed. Luke looked taken aback. 

"Wait, what? I thought...you said it only happened because you were drunk."

"I didn't say that _exactly_..." 

"You were pretty clear that's what you meant, though."

"Well, it wasn't true. That's, um...that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." Ashton was looking at his feet, anxiously tugging on the bracelet he was wearing on his wrist. Luke was silent for a moment and then sighed loudly and moved backwards, holding the door open. 

"Okay. Come on then." He said, gesturing for Ashton to come inside.

They sat side by side on the bed, and Luke was about to speak when Ashton started slightly and blushed.

"Are you, um...did you want to me wait a while? I can come back later, I know I interrupted you and I don't-"

"No!" Luke cut him off, embarrassed, when he realised what he was referring to, "I'm fine, seriously. The, um, the moment has passed." 

"Right. Okay then." Came Ashton's stilted reply. They both sat in awkward silence for a moment before Ashton sighed loudly, throwing caution to the wind and began to speak.

"Luke, I wasn't drunk enough that night to blame it on the alcohol. I know I screwed up with what I said and I didn't mean to upset you. I, um...I was really confused about it because, you know, I, um..." Ashton trailed off, struggling to voice his thoughts. Luke smiled sympathetically.

"You thought you were straight?" He suggested. Ashton nodded.

"Yeah. I've never really thought about it much, but I was pretty taken aback." 

"Look, Ash, it doesn't have to mean anything. Doesn't make you gay." Luke shrugged. Ashton thought for a moment, then shrugged.

"I spoke to Calum and Mikey about it." Luke looked surprised, but not angry or upset so Ashton felt it was okay to go on, "They said pretty much the same thing. And then they asked me if I wanted to do that stuff again. With you." 

Luke didn't reply, but when Ashton looked at him his shoulders were tensed and he looked almost _frightened_. He clenched his fists and shook his head, then breathed out shakily. 

"And, um...what did you say?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper, almost as if he didn't actually want to ask the question. Ashton answered him anyway.

"I told them yeah. Yeah, I do. Like, I _really_ do." His vice was equally quiet but his nerves were gone, suddenly. He knew there was no taking back his words now he'd said them, and he was okay with that. Luke wasn't speaking, and he was pretty sure he wasn't even breathing which really should have worried him but he was too concerned about how Luke would respond to his confession. 

"I don't understand." Luke finally choked out. Ashton raised an eyebrow, surprised. 

"Okay...what exactly don't you understand?"

"Is this is joke? Because I'll be so mad if it is, Ash. You'd better not be playing with me." 

"I'm not! I wouldn't do that, Luke. I mean what I'm saying." Ashton assured him, slightly offended that Luke thought he was capable of something that cruel. Luke nodded, believing him, but still looked uncertain. 

"Okay. Um, I don't...look, Ash, I think I need a little time to process this, if that's alright?" He looked guilty and Ashton suddenly felt like an idiot because Luke was basically saying he didn't feel the same and wanted time to figure out how to break it to him gently and now he felt like an absolute _fool_. Blinking back tears he nodded and forced a smile.

"Yeah, of course. Don't worry, though, like, I don't expect you to feel the same way. I just..I wanted you to know, and I didn't want you to think I was angry or I regret it or...whatever." Ashton was rambling, getting to his feet and awkwardly patting Luke on the shoulder before heading towards the door. Luke grabbed his shirt, though, stopping him.

"Wait, Ash, no. I don't mean...Jesus, Ashton, you're so dim." Luke groaned. Ashton opened his mouth to protest being called such a thing but then Luke yanked his shirt and he tripped and fell into the younger boy, who wasted no time in kissing him, _hard_ , right on the mouth and Ashton was so stunned he forgot how to kiss back. Luke pulled away, slightly breathless. Ashton stared at him, gawping.

"What was that?"

"That was a kiss." 

"No shit, Sherlock. Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to." Luke shrugged. Their faces were close together and Ashton was awkwardly hovering over Luke, one hand on his thigh and the other on the bed beside him, holding him up. 

"Now _I_ don't understand." 

"I do feel the same way. I just...I need time to adjust. I've always thought you were straight and now you're telling me you want to have sex with me and while I am one hundred percent okay with that, it's a bit of a shock and I wanted some time to think." 

"So, you're not planning a way to break it to me gently?" Ashton asked, relieved. Luke chuckled, shaking his head.

"No. Just need to think." 

"Okay. Can I, um, can you kiss me again? Then I promise I'll leave." Ashton asked sheepishly, but he was smirking slightly and Luke was glad to see him returning to his normal self and quite enthusiastically did as he was asked. 

...

Ashton was watching some shitty English drama on the TV when Calum and Mikey found him. 

"Hey, Ash, did you speak to Luke? Because he's wondering around with this shit-eating grin on his face and-" Calum started, but he was cut off as Luke barged past him into the room and grinned at Ashton, who grinned back.

"I'm done thinking." Luke informed him. Ashton giggled. 

"And have you come to any conclusions?" He asked. Luke nodded, taking two large steps towards the couch and throwing himself down on top of Ashton. Ashton's breath hitched at the close proximity of their faces and he struggled to maintain coherent thought when the taller boy tangled their legs together.

"I came to the conclusion that thinking isn't nearly as fun as kissing." He stated, smiling smugly, before moving in to kiss the boy underneath him. Ashton laughed and mumbled an agreement into his lips.

"So I'm going to take that as a yes..." Calum mumbled, staring at the couple on the couch, amused and slightly disgusted. Michael scoffed.

"Even the _straight_ one is fucking gay. I hate this band." Michael muttered, throwing his arms in the air in defeat. Calum glanced at him, amused. 

"You alright?" 

"No, Cal, I am not alright. My life is turning into some kind of shitty porn movie. Look at them, they're fucking on the couch!" Michael pointed at them angrily, practically vibrating with frustration. Calum glanced over at them, slightly surprised by how quickly things had heated up. When Ashton started pulling Luke's shirt over his head he decided he'd seen enough.

"Right, come on Mikey, I think we've seen enough." He pushed Michael towards the open door. Michael let him guide him out of the room, grumbling incoherently under his breath.

"Keep it in your pants, boys. No sex on the couch, that's a rule!" He shouted over his shoulder. Calum laughed and rubbed his arm soothingly.

"What's got you so worked up? Aren't you happy for them?" 

"Of course I'm happy for them."

"Then what's up?" 

"Too much gay for one day." He shrugged. Calum laughed and ruffled his hair, shoving him playfully through the door to his bedroom.

"Would ice cream and cookies cheer you up?" 

"No." He huffed, throwing himself down on Calum's bed. 

"How about a blow job?" 

Michael did a double take, glared at Calum, and then took a moment to consider his suggestion before shrugging.

"Sure, why not?" 

"Fine. But after you're buying me ice cream." Calum said sternly. Michael rolled his eyes.

"Shut up and suck my dick, Hood."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I love you all! Let me know what you thought!


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